What I learned from watching Romy and Michele

Normally, when I get a night to myself, I like to put on some movies for background noise while I clean or work on projects. Lately, I’ve been going through and watching older comedies and chick flicks because I used to be so against them when I was younger for some reason. After starting this trend, I realized I missed out on a lot of fun I could have had all because I didn’t want to come across as some dumb girly-girl.

And here I am at 28 now fully embracing the girly-girl attitude and look and it’s amazing.

This point actually goes into what I want to say here about Romy and Michele. I recently watched it for the first time (mainly because Phoebe from Friends was in it) and was hit with how relatable the two leads were. I wasn’t expecting to have such a deep connection to a silly 90s flick, but I found myself halting my projects to watch the movie more closely.

Without writing an entire book report, I’ll give the overall summary of the movie. Two girls who have been best friends since high school are gearing up to go to their 10 year reunion. They’ve since moved away from their hometown, but they (mainly Romy) feel the need to reinvent themselves so that they can impress their old classmates. They change their clothes to look like businessmen, create imaginary accomplishments, and even try to find boyfriends so they won’t show up single.

This hit me because I’m the same age as these protagonists. I know exactly what they’re going through. I also feel the need to impress people who used to know me and even those I’m just meeting for the first time. I feel like I haven’t made enough accomplishments to feel confident at a reunion. I don’t have a high paying job. I don’t have a house or even a nice apartment. I don’t have a ring. I don’t have anything worthy to show besides a graduate degree, but again that hasn’t exactly landed me a high paying job. Sometimes I find it more depressing than something to be proud of.

Near the end of the film, they’re secret unravels itself as it always does. Their classmates find out they’ve been lying and that one has a dead end job and one is unemployed. They’re single. They may live in Los Angeles, but they’re not much different than they were ten years ago in terms of success. Romy is understandably upset about who she sees when she looks in the mirror and the reaction from her classmates doesn’t help.

Michele, on the other hand, is the voice of wisdom here. She tells Romy that she didn’t know their lives were all that bad until Romy felt the need to change everything. Michele doesn’t even remember high school being all that bad despite them not having many friends or being well liked. She says she always had a blast because she was with her best friend and she was still having a blast all these years later. She loves her life even if it isn’t picture perfect because she loves living in California with her best friend.

At this point I felt like I was Romy being given this pep talk. I didn’t know how easily I would relate to her. Like Romy, I also care too much about how others view me and I have this checklist of things I think I need in order to call myself a success or just normal for that matter. I had been feeling this way for a while now and this movie came along just when I needed it.

While Romy and Michele can’t solve all my problems or take away all my insecurities, it did help give me some perspective that I want to keep with me. I would honestly tell any struggling late 20-something to watch this movie. Or anyone struggling with identity and success for that matter. During the reunion you see the other classmates who seemingly have picture perfect lives and as the night goes on you realize those lives are just as messy if not worse than our leading ladies. It helps you remember that comparing your life to someone else is ultimately a losing battle - you never know what that life looks like behind closed doors.

That’s the lesson I’m going to take from this movie. To enjoy what I do have in my life and not to make it seem less just because it may not look as extravagant as the person next to me. I also want to remember that the extravagance I see in the person next to me might be deceiving. They might long for something I have or they may be struggling with their own demons.

The only person you should be trying to impress is yourself.