Turning Valentine's Day Into "Treat Yourself" Day

A fun fact about me is that I was a late bloomer when it came to dating so I didn't enter my first relationship until I was in my mid-twenties. Before I was 25, I had never had a Valentine, which was hard for me because I unironically loved this little holiday yet always felt melancholy around that time of year. As I got older, I realized I didn't have to feel "left out" for being single and not obtaining the coveted Valentine. I could still appreciate the aesthetic of Valentine's Day despite not actively participating.

Since Valentine's Day is all about love I figured I might as well apply that idea to the way I treat myself. I'm someone who has always struggled with self-love. There are countless days I look into the mirror and wish the person looking back at me was pretty, clever, and had more going for her. When you've have negative thoughts like this since you were eleven, it's so difficult to stop. It becomes part of your default internal monologue so that by the time you're 28, these are no longer passing comments but facts.

I say all of this because I know, from personal experience, that Valentine's Day can be triggering if you're someone who is prone to these kind of negative thoughts. And I know that one day of self-care isn't going to be a magic cure-all, but it can't hurt. For me, it was one small step in re-training my brain not to be the way that it is.

For my Valentine's Day turned "Treat Yourself" Day, I would do the following:

Coffee & Flowers

I have now created a "bad" habit of buying myself flowers when I'm sad. It's something I always wished people would do for me until I realized that I was a grown adult who could literally just buy those $5 bouquets at the grocery store anytime I wanted. For Valentine's Day I like to indulge in a Starbucks drink (iced caramel macchiato to be exact) and buy myself some pink roses or whatever cute little bouquet they have out for the holiday.

If you don't like coffee or flowers (don't worry, this is a judgement-free zone) then you can substitute one or both of these with items that make you happy! Especially if they're things you normally reserve as a "treat".

Buy One Nice Thing Yourself

I always think of the quote from Twin Peaks when Dale Cooper, says:

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a cat nap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee.”

A gift doesn't even have to expensive or grand. One year Bath & Body was giving out this cute tote bag specifically for Valentines Day that I thought was adorable. So I stopped there during my lunch break, got some travel size lotions and the tote. Think of something that would be a nice little treat for you even if it's something under $10. Again, focus on something small that will brighten up your day.

Buy Yourself Dinner

And finally I would end the day with picking up food from my favorite place. I'll be honest, when I was in grad school that place was Panera Bread (when you grow up in a small town you don't realize there are more restaurant options outside of McDonald's and Stake N Shake) so buying yourself dinner also doesn't have to include a fancy restaurant unless you want it too.

If you have the ability to take some time for yourself on Valentine's Day, I really hope you do so. Even now that I'm in a relationship, I still do this sort of thing because no one's happiness or worth should be dependent on another person. You deserve to treat yourself and if all it takes is a silly little holiday to remind you to do some self-care then, hey, embrace it.

Sending out good vibes to you all and Happy Valentine's Day!